Pregnant wife refuses to allow husband to name their daughter his ex's name in her memory, he accuses her of being jealous and puts his foot down: 'Are you a woman or a little girl? Only a little girl would be jealous'

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Oct 2, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

When you say the tethering words "I do," it's really a commitment. It's not dating, and the legal bindings can feel like heavy weights on your life when one small (or big) thing goes wrong. It can be terrifying to be married already, building a life with someone, and even pregnant with their child, when you suddenly see a side that you didn't expect. There's nothing so jarring as the shock or unveiling of a truth you didn't see coming. It can feel like a betrayal in a way, and sometimes you don't see that side of someone until it's years down the road. 

The woman in the story here has an experience like that – her husband lost his first love when he was 21-years-old, and will always hold onto her memory with love and care. His wife is fine with that, until he demands they name their daughter after her. The internet chimes in about what's appropriate, not only for his wife, but for his daughter as well. 

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  • 01

    AITA for not wanting to use any part of my husband's late girlfriend's name for our child?

    Pregnant woman
    via pixelshot / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My husband and I have been together for 6 years, married for 3 and now we're expecting our first child. My husband lost his first
    via u/Cassievvvah
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    girlfriend, Emmy, when they were both 21. They'd been together for almost six years and he truly loved her. He was honest with me
    via u/Cassievvvah
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    about her and about the fact she would always be someone he missed and he had maintained a relationship with Emmy's parents.
    via u/Cassievvvah
  • 05
    That was always okay with me. He seemed in a good place to be in another relationship and he dated before me so it was reassuring.
    via u/Cassievvvah
  • 06
    About 6 weeks ago my husband mentioned that if we had a girl he would love to use Emmy, or Grace which was Emmy's middle name,
    via u/Cassievvvah
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    somewhere in the name. He told me it was something he always thought of doing. And he told me for a boy he had ways of using
    via u/Cassievvvah
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    masculine forms of Emmy or Grace somewhere in a boy's name. I told him I wasn't really on board with that and he never
    via u/Cassievvvah
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    mentioned this to me before. He asked me why he would, and then said he didn't know why I'd be difficult about it.
    via u/Cassievvvah
  • 10
    It was a few days later he told me he wanted to use the names and he was putting his foot down that he should be allowed to. He said
    via u/Cassievvvah
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    we can add it as a second middle name if I won't consider a first name or first middle name but that it should absolutely be in there somewhere. He said only
    via u/Cassievvvah
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    someone jealous would be hesitant to use it like I am. I asked him how he'd feel about it if he were in my shoes, if I wanted to
    via u/Cassievvvah
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    name our child after someone else that I would always love but couldn't be with. He told me he would s k it up for my sake and
    via u/Cassievvvah
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    Couple holding hands
    via Min An from Pexels / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    he would accept the de d aren't competition. Then he said he would actually be the one suggesting it and there would be no weirdness for him.
    via u/Cassievvvah
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    It was a couple of weeks later before he brought it up again and this time he said he would do this even if I loved my late partner more and was only with him
    via u/Cassievvvah
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    because I couldn't be with my late partner (if I had one, I don't). That became something more emotional for me because it felt like a confession when he
    via u/Cassievvvah
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    brought it up because it was randomly said to me. But maybe. it also felt like he might be speaking for his feelings and how he might think I'd feel.
    via u/Cassievvvah
  • 19
    I never had an issue with him loving Emmy or remembering her, feeling sad about her death or anything. I just never thought I'd be asked to name my child
    via u/Cassievvvah
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    after her. To me it feels weird and wrong and this whole thing has made me insecure in our marriage. I told him as much and
    via u/Cassievvvah
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    he suggested I was jealous and shouldn't be so threatened by someone who did.
    via u/Cassievvvah
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    Marriage
    via Kameleon007 / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 23
    He told his sister what was happening a week ago and now she's asking me to explain my feelings and asking if I'm a woman or a little girl because
    via u/Cassievvvah
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    only a little girl would be so jealous of a de d partner. I asked my husband why he told his sister because now she was getting
    via u/Cassievvvah
  • 25
    involved. He said he had to vent to someone and he felt I was being unreasonable and unkind about this. AITA?
    via u/Cassievvvah
  • 26
    Grouchywhennhu... • 16h ago ΝΤΑ Names are always a two yes scenario. Naming your child
    via u/Grouchywhennhungry
  • 27
    after his de d girlfriend is weird and puts an unnecessary emotional burden on your daughter.
    via u/Grouchywhennhungry

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